


Fun Between Life and Death

by KoboldKing



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Monopoly (Board Game), Prompt Fic, r/writingprompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 08:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16215386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoboldKing/pseuds/KoboldKing
Summary: The fate of the universe will be decided by a game of Monopoly between the Concepts of Life and Death. Fear not! The Concept of Fun referees.





	Fun Between Life and Death

**Author's Note:**

> [Inspired by this thread on r/WritingPrompts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/9m025n/wp_the_fate_of_the_universe_depends_on_whether/)

It's not actually Monopoly.

Ha! Parker Brothers wishes. The brand identity of owning the game that decided the fate of the universe would be worth its weight in metaphysical zaura. That sentence didn't make sense. As the Concept of Fun, I have a tendency towards things that _sound_  interesting instead of what's actually true.

And as the Concept of Fun, I was chosen to choose the game that chooses the fate of all the choosers in this universe. I chose a game you would probably call Monopoly, but is really so much more complicated with ever so many more rules.

I sit on the side while Life and Death make their plays, rolling 533,000,401 dice each with every turn. I let out a whoop of laughter whenever Life lands upon her preferred space, and boo and hiss whenever Death lands upon his. I was chosen to choose the game, but there's no rule that says I can't choose a favored winner. Life means more Fun. Death, while some sickos can find Fun _in_ it, generally leads to a decrease in it. It's why I stacked the odds.

Ah, if only you could see Life. She's a beauty; all eyes and tentacles and trillions upon trillions of squirming microbia. Ever shifting, ever moulding, the ecosystems inside of her always changing to suit her mood. Right now her face is made out of angry cephalopods, clicking their beaks in annoyance. She's bitter because she's losing the game.

"A dirty play, Death," she accuses, evolving a new species of screeching slug-bird just to put a bite in her voice.

Death responds in a voice that sounds like silence. _"It is legal. I follow the law of the game... unlike some."_

"I do not cheat," Life snaps.

 _"Yet you do not respect the law,"_ Death replies. _"Else you would welcome the ending I bring to the universe. To live is to die. So it is written."_

He makes a point, the old chap. While Life dazzles with her ever-shifting size and shape, Death is plain. He is black. He is darkness. He is the backwards-cast shadow of the never ending gloom and monotony that will one day consume all of the multiverse, us Concepts included. When he moves his hand you do not see it move; it simply appears where he wants it without crossing the intervening space.

Why is that? Maybe it's because he embodies the idea of ending, and not what comes before it. Maybe it's symbolic of how death can come to any being at any time, with no warning. Hell if I know. I'm not Philosophy, or worse, Metaphor. Those are a couple of pretentious pri-

"He cheated," Life says suddenly. She points a tentacle which seemed to evolve from birds, judging by the feathers. "He cannot own so many Ringworlds on one Property."

 _"I may own however many I please,"_ Death replies. You can hear the smugness in his cosmic majesty. _"Unlike you. Your time runs out, Life."_

"Fun," Life commands. "Judge! Tell him his play violates both law and spirit."

"Aha," I say, bowing lightly. I flash with colors that have only been seen by mantis shrimp and one particular art student who ate too many shrooms. "Regrettably, my fair damsel, he's quite within his rights. There's no limit to how many Ringworlds he may place there, provided he has the Souls to pay for them."

"What?!" Life is outraged. There are plagues flashing in her eyes. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"I'm rooting for you, my fair lady~" I say in a sing-song tone. "But rules are rules, as I'm sure both you _and_  Death will agree."

 _"I do agree,"_ Death says coolly. _"Life does not for she is... ah... somewhat lacking in Souls at the moment. I am the only one who can afford to create Ringworlds at all."_

He leans across the table, solely to make his rival uncomfortable. Life's form shivers and blights just from his closeness.

Truth is, even without the psychological games he's playing within the game, he's winning. He's patient and can wait, while Life is always evolving to suit its needs in the moment. That means she can only react. He is the one driving every turn and every play.

The cosmic dice are rolled again, and I can see the terror across Life's many faces. Death has claimed another Property, and has more than enough Souls to place more Ringworlds. Moreover, Life's piece has now been sentenced to the Abyss--she must go directly to the Abyss, without collecting two billion Souls.

Things look bleak. Soon there will be no more Life, and no more Fun. Only Death and Memory.

Death's hand appears in the multidimensional box where the Platonic ideals of Ringworld tokens are kept. He frowns, but then smirks.

 _"...we seem to have run out of Ringworld tokens,"_ he says, frosty satisfaction leaking through his voice. _"I have used so many after all. That is no matter. We may use spent neutron stars as placeholders."_

Life looks resigned to her ensuing defeat, and subsequent death. But I squeak with glee.

"Ah ah ah!" I say suddenly. "I... don't actually think that's allowed, Your Decay-edness."

Death looks at me incredulously. _"What do you mean it's not allowed? The rules would not account for the mere physical limits that come with the game-"_

"You would think that," I say, practically bursting with the bubbles of pure joy erupting out of my crevices. "But you would be wrong. Or would you? We should consult the rulebook."

Death looks thoroughly put out, but the rulebook appears in his hand. He and Life both begin poring over it, arguing over the table of contents and whether they'll find this clarification in the section on Ringworlds or in the section that lists what comes with the game. I kick back, satisfied.

You see I lied to you. This game _is_ actually pretty much just Monopoly. We play it with trillions of tons of exotic matter and across a board with nineteen dimensions, but as far as your comprehension could place it, it's just Monopoly with more rules and exceptions to those rules.

I know Life will lose. That was never up for debate. Life knows it. Death knows it. We all knew it; the game was a formality. Death comes for all things in the end, and all Life can do is savor the time that it has. That's where I come in. The Concept of Fun.

And as the Concept of Fun, I know a good time when I see one. Monopoly... is _not_  a good time.

But Life needs time. Life needs eons to grow and flourish and cherish what it has. By sending them to the rulebook, I've ensured an additional four billion years for you, the beings of the universe. That's how long they'll be arguing and flipping through it.

Life needs time. And nothing, I repeat, _nothing_ , makes the time drag on and on into eternity like a game between two players who aren't having any Fun.


End file.
